Our final failed Santa (boy, those went by fast--I could do them all month!) will be recognized by all sci-fi fans. It is:
This massive Santa lives 21,000 years in the future on a far-away, desert planet. He does not bring presents. He produces a spice which allows space travel, and creates psychic abilities when ingested by humans. But you can ride on him, sort of like the "one-horse open sleigh."
On Monday, we start the Twelve Days of Christmas countdown! It will be BOT related. You may already know what I'm planning.
This Saturday, I'll be signing books at The Purple Cow bookstore in Tooele at 2:00. I will be accompanied by an actual human Santa (non-dentist, I think.) Hope to see you Tooeleians there!